Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wrong side of the bed...

So, today is just another day in paradise. I woke up this morning in a bad mood. Well, I can't really say it was bad, just not my normal self. I was more sad I think than anything.

I'm not sure if I still have pregnancy hormones running through my body or not, but it sure as hell feels like it. My husband can attest to the mood swings.

I hope that he remembers that Pastor Gary said, "In good times and bad and in sickness and in health." This would be the "bad" and the "sickness" part. Ahhh, my poor husband. I'm sure he questions himself two or three times a week about whether or not he made the right decision. Of course we all know he made the right decision.

This miscarriage has been really hard for both of us. During the whole process it seemed like I was the one who was most affected. Mostly because our baby was in my body. But then I realized that he experienced a loss as well. Maybe a double loss, not only the loss of our baby but the loss of being involved in the whole experience. I guess I'll have to ask him if I really want to know how he felt.....Nah! LOL

So, we are just taking it one day at a time. I never really understood that saying, because even if you wanted to take it three or four days at a time you couldn't. Wouldn't that be nice if you were eagerly anticipating a certain date? One of those dates would NOT be April 15th.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hurricanes, babies, blogs....oh my!

So far I am enjoying the blogging world. I enjoy reading other people's and I like to leave comments for them. No one has responded yet, but that's ok. I'm trying to figure out what it is about blogs that has taken the world by storm in the last few years? Is our world gotten so busy that we don't really have time to talk to each other like we used to , so here's my blog read it when you have time kinda thing? Are we becoming so antisocial in face-to-face situations that we prefer to communicate via the interwebs? Are we so lonely that we feel we don't have anyone to talk to that we know really well and so we rely on internet friends? Anyway, those are my thoughts about blogs. I'm sure I have a million more but that's enough for now; I don't want to spoil you.

I heard today at work that Hurricane Ike is coming for the east coast of Texas and they are sending some evacuated people here to El Paso. Weird to think that I lived in the Tampa Bay area all my life and then I come to the desert of Texas just to hear about Hurricane refugees here. Berry interesting. Oh, meanwhile there is a tropical storm/depression out in the Pacific that is near Cabo San Lucas that is causing a lot of rain here in El Paso. We are currently under a flash flood warning. Guess that what happens when the desert gets a lot of rain. The Rio Grande is swelling quickly and if the rain keeps up it will overflow. When it rains it pours....lmao. (pun intended)

On to my next rant...babies and pregnant women. Why is it that everyone, and I mean everyone, is pregnant or has a newborn on their hip? I even bumped into this man at Albertsons who was pregnant...maybe that was just a beer belly, but you get my point. I think it's some kind of punishment for something horrible that I've done to someone. Ok, ok, ok I don't really think that I'm being punished. It just sounded funny to say. Sometimes it's laugh or cry you know? I was supposed to have an appointment with a midwife today to discuss the miscarriage and my fertility but thanks to an insurance glitch I was unable to attend the appointment. Go Insurance!!!! Thanks for being so wonderful. I really want to talk about my miscarriage, but I think that needs to be it's very own posting. Stay tuned for that's a real tear-jerker.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

First we go

So, I'm a little new to the blogging world. I have known about blogs and I have read other people's blogs and finally, I have my very own blog. Thank you, thank you. No flash photography please...

I think the person who will appreciate my blog the most is my hubby. It will finally give his ears a break and allow him to focus on more important things like, the Sci-Fi channel, weeds in the yard, dog poop in the backyard and did I already mention the Sci-Fi channel?? LOL..

He loves me, I know this, but he does not love all the complaining that I do. I think my complaining is funny, useful, helpful, constructive and a way to vent when something happens that I don't like. My complaining is hardly ever directed AT him, but because we are together a lot he gets to hear all about the cashier at Albertson's that tried to short-change me, the guy on I-10 that cut me off (on purpose I'm sure!) and the fact that everyone around me is pregnant, but me.

I try to convince him that I am me, no more- no less. I have not changed since we met, he will confirm this and these are all of the wonderful things that make up this creature that my parents called Angelica. I tell him he should be lucky that he found me....he just smiles and agrees.

All in all I am a very lucky girl. My husband is great; he cooks (wonderfully) and likes to keep a clean house. He is a home body and so am I, we both share a love of pets and we want a family.

Maybe one day he will be able to appreciate allthingsAngelica.

So, I talked with a woman today that I haven't talked to in a long time. It was great! We used to work together a few yrs ago when I lived in FL. I was so nice to catch up on old times and get all the good gossip from the old job. My how things have changed/evolved and at the same time things didn't change at all. I was amazed at how many people are still at that job. When I worked there it was a place that had a very high turn-over, mostly due to the stress and BS. It was nice to hear the stories about new babies being born, marriages, promotions and people who had left to better their careers. Oddly enough it was equally, if not more fun, to hear about the divorces, secret love affairs, people who had been fired and people needing to come out of the closet. What is it about gossip, that is soooo good. (only when it's not about you) Why do we enjoy hearing about things in people's lives that are not going so good? I think maybe because it somehow makes us feel a little better about ourselves. It can be nice to know that you are not the only one experiencing a certain situation. For example, let's say that you and your significant other got into a fight. There is some comfort in knowing that the "perfect couple" also fights. I suppose it normalizes a situation.

Albeit gossip can be hurtful and mean-spirited and should be avoided if at all possible. There that was my disclaimer. LOL... had to put that in there.

Stay tuned for future blogs as I really get going about the next knuckle-head that intentionally did something to try to ruin my day. This was just my first blog, a test blog if you will.